


Running Start

by sandpapersnowman



Category: Preacher (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kissing, M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-07-18 23:03:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7334224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandpapersnowman/pseuds/sandpapersnowman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's been dating Tulip for all of a day and a half before he realizes she's using him. He's offended; she could have just asked for his help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is how the next episode goes, right?

The second time they have sex, they don't. He tries to kiss her and realizes something is off; she just lays there, doesn't react at all, and while he'd been too distracted thinking about the pills she'd stolen him to notice before, he's sober and aware now.

"You alright, love?" he whispers, still close to her lips.

"'M fine," she whispers back, and kisses him. It's weak, though, with nothing behind it, and he pulls away.

"Tulip," he says, and waits for her look at him. "I mean it. Are you alright?"

She frowns.

"I..."

She stops. She looks like she wants to ask why he cares, what's it to him, like he's a stranger and not someone she supposedly likes.

 _She's using me,_ he realizes.

"This is a jealousy thing, ain't it?"

Her skin is just dark enough and the lights are just low enough he nearly misses it, but she blushes.

"It _is_!" he yelps, and backs himself off the bed so he can stand. 

He turns away from her and laughs in disbelief.

"Cassidy, look--"

"Who are we making jealous, your 'boyfriend'?" he asks, spinning back around, and to her surprise, he's _grinning_.

"What?"

He plops back down on the bed and pats her leg with both hands, excited and looking devious.

"Who's the target? Do I know him?" He gasps conspiratorially. "Or _her_?"

She snorts at that, finally, and sits up just to shove him. Like she would care what people thought about her pursuing a girl, especially in this bigot, shithole town.

"No, it's a him," she admits. "And yeah," she double-admits, with a sigh. "You know him."

Cassidy's laugh is a horrible noise in the hotel room.

"It's Jesse, isn't it? I _knew_ it."

She raises her eyebrows at him.

"Oh, please, Tulip." He rolls his eyes at her, looking _offended_ that she thought he couldn’t have figured it out. "Who the hell else would it be?"

She opens her mouth to say it could have been anyone, he doesn’t know that, but just ends up grinning. He's right, after all.

"You aren't angry, though? Thought you'd _fallen for me_ , Cass?"

His smile softens.

"Sweetheart, I did. You're a gorgeous, terrifying, bloody _nightmare_ woman, and I love it." He lays down, horizontal on the bed and letting his legs dangle off the side as he looks up at her sweetly, and shrugs against the blankets. "Won't hold it against you if you don't feel the same, though. I'm not _that_ kind of asshole."

She smiles back at him too, just as sweet.

"'Preciate it," she mutters.

"Thought you knew me better than this, though, I'll admit," he says. "I would have helped you fuck with him if you'd asked, no strings attached."

She laughs too now, and Cassidy's smile gets fonder.

"Really?"

"God, you kidding me? Of course." He raises his eyebrows up at her. "You're not the only one with a thing for him, I'll be honest."

It's a risk to tell her, especially when she's just told him she's also trying to get into bed with him, but he feels like it's the right thing to say. She deserves to know, if nothing else.

He's right. Her grin gets wider and splits in a way almost as wicked as his.

"Cassidy?"

"Hm?"

"Have I mentioned I love you?"

"Aw, sweetheart. I thought you'd never say it."

They both cackle, and Cassidy shuffles back up the bed to lay down properly.

"So," he says. "Sunday's tomorrow. I've got a pew at the back of the church, about a century of bisexuality to start catching up on, and no shame. What's the plan, love?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay real talk: this is gonna be eventual jesse/tulip/cassidy but for now it's gonna be weird maybe-a-little-not-platonic tulip/cassidy. they're both absolute devils and i'm so looking forward to writing about the ridiculous shit they're about to do.
> 
> if you have any suggestions for things they might try to get a very specific kind of jesse's attention, please tell me [on tumblr rather than here](http://sandpapersnowman.tumblr.com/ask), so as to avoid potential spoilers if i end up using a scenario ;0
> 
> goal's gonna be like?? four, maybe five chapters i think?? Not Sure


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings for this chapter: mmmm blasphemy probably? tulip and cassidy doing pda shit during a sermon to distract and attempt to seduce jesse. boners and sexual fantasies get mentioned but the chapter's not too explicit tbeh

The plan, it turns out, is pretty simple. They sit in the back, in the pew nobody but Cassidy ever takes, and they… Do sexy stuff, they guess.

“We need a better plan than _that_ ,” Tulip says.

“No,” Cassidy insists, and he shakes his head hard enough that it nearly gives _her_ a headache just watching him. “We just sit there, looking pretty, as we do,” he says again, “and when he sees us all friendly, he’ll realize we’ve gone and found the only people in this town worth shite besides him-- _each other_.”

He stops talking and puts his hands up, like _’look what I’ve done, I’m a genius’_ , and Tulip laughs at him.

“Okay, but how far do we go? Are we talking light kisses and hand-holding, or are we talking about sucking face and public handies?”

Cassidy scrunches his face up with a disgusted noise.

“God, no. Not that I’d mind,” he adds, and Tulip hits his arm, and he laughs. “Just, like… We pretend to whisper dirty things to each other. We giggle about it. We show him what a lovely time we’re having, rejected by his chaste and pious ways.”

Tulip gives a little dissatisfied hum, and crosses her arms.

“We don’t actually have to say dirty things, do we? I don’t know if I could stand hearing what you consider ‘dirty’.”

Cassidy gives her another ‘I’m so offended, how dare you’ look.

“ _Jesus_ , ‘course not. Not a strong suit for me, anyway.”

“Good.”

They’ve finished a bottle of the shitty vodka Cassidy stole from the convenience store down the street--he insisted on repaying the favor, and honestly, neither of them felt like buying.

“So,” Tulip says. “We should probably get to bed, huh?” She grins at him. Cassidy’s heart skips a non-beat, and God, he kind of hopes maybe they do have to escalate to sucking face and public handies.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “Gotta get up bright and early.”

She turns the light out while he pulls the blankets of the hotel bed back, and she takes off her shorts and shirt on her way back to the bed.

Cassidy gives her a look, confused, but not unpleasantly, and she rolls her eyes as she flops back onto the bed.

“It’s Texas, Cass. I’m not sleeping in jeans.”

He nods. “Fair enough.” He looks down and realizes he’s mostly dressed, too. “You mind if I…?”

“Go for it, you’re good.”

He takes his jeans and jacket and shirt off too, and even when Tulip makes him the little spoon and smushes her face between his shoulderblades, it all feels weirdly non-sexual.

He kind of likes that, really. Admittedly, he’d always sort of believed that guys and girls can never _just_ be friends, but the way Tulip is, just… _Who_ she is, how she carries herself, he might be getting a little less doubtful. Sure, it’s not completely platonic on his end, but he’s not an animal, an asshole, or a prick. She could platonically marry him for tax benefits and he’d never push it.

Okay, maybe the fact that his head is swimming with all this stuff about how very platonic they are while he’s thinking about spending the rest of their lives together, while they’re half-naked, and spooning, is a decent tell that this is a weird situation anyway. Most movie clichés probably aren’t going to apply to them, anyway, so why worry?

_God, shut up,_ he thinks to himself, and just enjoys the feeling of Tulip breathing soft and steady over his spine.

 

Jesse looks surprised but happy to see them when they’re both in the church the next morning. He says hello to them, of course, but then gets swept away talking to newcomers in his newfound popularity, and they settle down in Cassidy’s seat at the back.

“I say we wait until toward the end to bring out the _good_ stuff, yeah?” Cassidy whispers.

Tulip frowns.

“Why’s that?”

“Well, think of it like this: if your sexy ex and sexy roommate are together, aren’t you going to get tired of watching after an hour, or are you going to consider giving in to temptation if they’ve _just_ gotten started after an hour of looking good? Eh?”

Tulip pulls his arm over her shoulders and presses up against his side.

“Okay, yeah, you’re right.”

“Right?”

“Yeah, good call.”

He squeezes her shoulder fondly.

“I know.”

She sighs and crosses one leg over the other.

“This is ridiculous, isn’t it?” she says, quiet. Doubtful.

“I mean, yeah, but…” He shrugs. “What, are we gonna be mature adults and talk to him about it? Talk to _Jesse_?”

She laughs, just a short, sad huff against him that jostles his arm.

“Yeah. Tried that already.”

She’s still smiling, but Cassidy can feel her nervousness.

“Really, Tulip,” he whispers, with Jesse stepping behind his podium but not quite realizing yet that they’re snuggled up in the back. “If it goes bad or gets too weird, we won’t do it again.”

She nods against him.

“Worst case scenario, I’ll bring it up with him. Hell, I’ve only got, like, a month of history with him. No skin off my back.”

She leans into him more with appreciation.

“Yeah.”

She’s smiling now because she appreciates Cassidy’s company and his similar thought process, but Jesse doesn’t know that.

He’s finally looked at them again and realized there’s something going on; they’re both smiling and Tulip is tucked under Cassidy’s arm, and they’re… _Cuddling_ , tucked away at the back of _his_ church.

Cassidy winks at him, and Jesse turns red and looks away from them.

Cassidy and Tulip both laugh at the same time, then settle in and get comfortable.

 

What feels like hours later, Cassidy checks his watch. He knows Jesse; he won’t talk for more than an hour, and they’re already about thirty minutes in.

He takes a deep breath. They should probably get on with the dirty part of the plan, he guesses.

“You good?” he whispers.

“Yeah,” she whispers back. “You think we should start?”

Cassidy hums affirmatively, and brushes a curl off her forehead. 

“Alright,” she says, and rearranges herself. She puts her hand on Cassidy’s knee, shrugs his arm further back on the bench so she can sit up and get eye-level with him when she needs to, and puts on the sweetest smile she can manage.

He kisses her very lightly on the lips, giving her plenty of time and space to pull away if she wants to, and after that, just an introductory motion to hopefully draw Jesse’s eye, he leans in to _talk dirty_ in her ear.

“Just pretend I’m saying something _real_ seductive,” he whispers, and she squirms. She’s a great actress, he knows she can pull it off. “ _Ooh_ ,” he moans, over-exaggerating like hell, “something something _big cock_.”

She giggles, loudly enough that a few of the people actually there for the sermon turn and glare, but they both grin back at anyone that makes eye contact.

She leans in with half-lidded eyes to whisper into his ear, as well.

“Stop making me laugh, you’re gonna give us away.”

He bites his lip, as seductively as he can, and looks up at Jesse like they’re talking about him.

“He did?” he asks, like she’s said something about Jesse’s past, and he’s careful to say it so Jesse can read his lips. It works--he starts watching them a little more intently, and a _lot_ more suspiciously.

“Well, now that you mention it,” she says, and slides her hand up his leg. “One time I was ridin’ him, and he got so overwhelmed that it only took him a couple minutes to cum.” Her hand dips further in on his thigh, properly between his legs though her hand isn’t high enough to do much. “I kept going because I wasn’t done yet, and he cried and started begging for me to slow down. Offered some of the filthiest things if I’d just give him a minute off his dick, but I made him lay there until I was done too and he _loved_ it.”

Cassidy bites his lip for real at that, because he can imagine it. Sweet, innocent preacher up there, flat out on a bed on his back, holding onto a rocking pair of hips and eyes watering from overstimulation. He can only see him with his silly collar on because he’s only ever known him to wear it, but the idea that he was once so far fallen from what he looks like up there now is… _Nice_. Like, _dirty_ nice.

(He thinks of both him and Tulip on top, and both are nice, and then accidentally thinks about Tulip snuggled up to Jesse’s side and talking sweetly to him while Cassidy keeps moving on his cock, and that’s maybe pushing into weird territory, so he shuts his eyes to clear his head.)

“‘S hot, honestly,” he says, and he guesses Jesse was able to read his lips anyway because _whoops_ , he’s up there blushing like his pants have fallen.

“He is,” she agrees, quiet. Her hand goes a little higher, enough that Cassidy’s hips do twitch up a bit.

They aren’t supposed to actually be turning each other on, he doesn’t think, but here they are. Well, here he is. It’s a little harder to tell if she’s into this, considering they don’t have the same hardware.

He’s… A little obvious.

“Wow,” she whispers. “You remember we’re not actually _doing_ this, right?”

He smirks and laughs because Jesse is still looking, and he feels like he does a decent job of hiding his embarrassment.

He rubs at his nose to disguise covering his mouth.

“Hush, I know,” he whispers back. “He’s looking, though.”

“Good,” she says. She doesn’t actually sound annoyed that Cassidy’s hard in his jeans, so he doesn’t think he’s fucked up too bad.

Well, fucked up with her, anyway. He fucks up big-time when he makes eye contact with Jesse a moment before Tulip’s lips settle onto his neck.

He makes a noise, but it’s not loud enough anyone but Tulip hears. Jesse is watching them now; they _definitely_ have his full attention, and Cassidy thinks he hears him say something about wrapping up his sermon but he’s not sure.

Tulip’s a biter. Either that or she’s making fun of his _medical condition_ again, but either way works for him.

Her hand slides up as high as it can on his thigh, and he can feel her knuckles almost laid out along his length. He knows they’re supposed to be pretending, but there’s nothing fake about the way his eyes have fallen half-closed.

Jesse’s _still_ making eye contact, so Cassidy winks at him. 

He tries to make it look inviting. Even though he doesn’t know if he pulled it off, he feels like Jesse would be awkwardly going over to talk to Emily now anyway, to avoid confronting them.

“Hey,” Cassidy says. (It’s strained--she’s been slowly working over most of his neck, and at some point her other hand creeped up to twist her fingers in his hair, and all in all, he’s a little fucked up from it.) “We should go upstairs,” he says. “Like, so Jesse sees,” he adds, quickly, low on air from her mouth and the whole situation. “Not to, like, do anything.”

“I know,” she assures him. She presses one last chaste kiss to his skin, just a quick peck under his ear, and he almost sighs out loud. 

“I winked at him,” he lets her know. “I don’t think he got it, but.” He looks at Jesse again. He’s chatting with some nice-looking family, all prissed up for Sunday. “It was worth the try?”

Tulip stands and stretches. It makes her shirt ride up and Cassidy grins.

They make a good pair, honestly. She’s a good actress, and he’s Actually Infatuated. It all looks _very_ real.

Cassidy stands too and slips his hand to her lower back to lead her toward the stairs.

“We lean seductively at the banister and then go up once Jesse looks, yeah?”

“Yeah,” she whispers back.

He positions himself so his boner is facing the stairs instead of half the town, and Tulip makes the meanest giggle.

“Look at you, all worked up. You gonna be okay to walk up these stairs, hon?”

“Shut up,” he says, but it’s not mean. He’s grinning at her too; it’s inconvenient, but whatever, it’ll go away soon enough. “Keep an eye on him, I’ve already made too much eye contact.”

“‘Kay.”

It takes a couple more minutes, but eventually Tulip kicks him gently to get his attention, signal _he’s looking’_ , enough people and pews between them and Jesse that he won’t see it.

This time, Tulip winks at him, then she grabs Cassidy’s hand and leads him upstairs.

Cassidy casually looks back like he’s just curious who she winked at, and then _oh, he’s so surprised, it’s Jesse!_ , and gives him a thumbs-up.

The last they see of Jesse for the moment is him, beet-red, staring after them.


	3. Chapter 3

Jesse has no idea what he’s going to do about this. Nobody else looks uncomfortable, all of them are mingling and chatting post-sermon, so he’s sure he’s just imagining it, but he’d _swear_ he can hear them upstairs.

Should he go up and say something? He knows Cassidy’s disgusting, he’s never had an issue with that. It’s just that the idea of his close, maybe best friend, and his childhood friend, who is also his ex, being _together_ is… It’s…

He swallows. It’s supposed to be gross or something, probably, but he’s practically _consumed_ with how not-gross it is. He knows he gets along with Tulip in a relationship when they have the same goals. He definitely knows they worked fine together sexually. He’d be lying through his teeth if he tried to deny that Cassidy doesn’t look so bad himself. He has no idea how it’d even work because Cassidy is probably straight and so is he, mostly, but--

_They could show you,_ he thinks suddenly. God, then he’s thinking about both of them kissing him on either side of his neck, two sets of hands trailing down his chest, two bodies on either side of his, Tulip’s scratchy moans and whatever noises Cassidy makes (and Lord, would he love to find out).

_Shit_. Alright, this is a problem, then.

So… He’ll wait in the church, give the two of them time to… To do whatever, and then when they come down, he’ll ask them not to have sex in his church, he guesses.

_You wouldn’t care if you were involved,_ his mind shoots at him, and he tries to wave it off. It’s right, but, y’know. Shut up.

Besides, they’re involved, so, all that contact and eyefucking was probably just to piss him off. Let him know what he’s missing out on not being with Tulip, and let him know that Cassidy knows what a catch she is and isn’t going to let her slip away from him.

_Like you did_.

He sighs to himself in the nearly-empty church, and a couple of the day’s visitors hear and turn back to see if he’s alright, but he just puts on another smile and waves at them.

Once the church goes silent, he _can_ hear them. But it’s not moaning, or the creaking of furniture, or anything like that.

They’re both giggling like mad, both periodically trying to shush each other and then going into worse giggling fits.

What the _hell_?

He gives it a minute after everyone’s left. The giggling is still happening, faintly, and it doesn’t _sound_ like they’re about to go at it in his church.

So, since he wouldn’t be interrupting anything, he’s safe to go talk to them, right?

“You two fully dressed?” he calls up the stairs. He hopes so. _You hope not_ flitters through his thoughts and he tells it to kindly shut the fuck up before it slips out. 

“We are!” Cassidy calls back, and Tulip’s laughter starts up again, muffled. He can practically see her, pillow shoved to her mouth to keep herself quiet.

He starts up the stairs, and the giggling and subsequent shushing gets more frequent. It stops when he reaches the top, and finds them both sitting with their legs crossed, hanging out on Cassidy’s mattress.

“Howdy, Padre.”

Tulip punches his knee.

Christ, the only thing more unnerving than them all over each other is all the goddamn _giggling_.

“So, you two, uh… A thing?”

“You bet,” Cassidy answers again.

Jesse doesn’t say anything. Turns his head to Tulip instead, since she hasn’t said anything.

“Really?”

He feels bad that it comes off kind of judgmental, but… _Really_?

“Mmhmm,” she hums, and gives Cassidy a sweet smile to top it off.

Jesse nods, mostly to himself.

“That’s not a problem, is it?” Cassidy asks.

He stares at him for longer than he should, because he knows he should just say ‘no, it’s fine’ and leave. But there’s something nagging at him; it doesn’t feel fine, but not because him and Tulip have history. It’s because of something else that he can’t put his finger on. Like he’s being left out on purpose.

“Jess?” he asks again.

“No, yeah, uh.” He swallows. “Not a problem.”

He takes another look at the two of them, smiling and genuinely looking happy as can be.

“I’ll be at the house if you need me,” he says, to neither of them in particular, and leaves.

 

He feels flushed the whole walk home, and it’s not because of the heat.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lil bit of a delay between these last couple chapters sorry :'D life stuff, new fandom hitting me HARD, etc etc
> 
> really heavy on cassidy pov this chapter - i try s o hard to keep things pretty even when him and tulip are both around but hes just so fun to write with rip
> 
> let me know if you see typos or anything, i've been so focused on finishing this and just! dang! publishing it!! that if i reread it again i might die

They listen to Jesse go down the stairs, and wait until they hear him shut the church door behind him to let out the breath they’ve been holding.

“Well, shit,” Cassidy says, breaking the silence first. “That didn’t work.”

Tulip shrugs.

“I told you. He’s thick.”

Cassidy raises his eyebrows at her, and it takes her a second to get the accidental innuendo.

“Oh--” she kicks him gently, “--shut up.”

Cassidy wants to ask if he is, but that feels like some weird breach of privacy. Plus, he’d prefer to find out for himself, all things considered.

“So?” he asks. “What’s Plan B?”

 

Plan B is a lot more direct than Plan A was; instead of sitting at the back of the church, kissing and touching each other and hoping the heat in Jesse’s belly is the right kind of jealousy and envy, they’re just… Going to corner him. Cassidy’s going to plan dinner with Jesse, with Chinese food and alcohol and, at Tulip’s suggestion, a couple joints. 

That’s more of a last resort, and Tulip admitted she’s not sure if Jesse will still smoke or if that’s part of the things he put aside for the lord and then actually followed through on not doing, but they roll a few together anyway for Cassidy to go in with.

Even if they do get Jesse to smoke with them, Tulip warned, he gets the lazy, tired type of stoned, and the most they’ll get out of him then is maybe a confirmation that he’s interested in them both.

He still feels hopeful about it, though.

He’d had his doubts, because this is a small, redneck town and Jesse grew up here, and if he dated Tulip that must put a dent in the possibility he’d be attracted to a man, but Tulip shushes him when he brings it up.

When her and Jesse were younger, her cousin out in a bigger city than Annville knew a girl who dated a boy, but the next year, she admitted she had a crush on Tulip’s cousin’s best friend. Tulip’s cousin called her late at night to gossip about it, because the girl also had a crush on another boy at the time, and Tulip’s cousin’s friend’s mom had told her that that was totally a thing and not weird at all.

(Around that point Cassidy had given her the blankest look, and she’d rolled her eyes and summarized with _’my cousin knew someone who knew someone who liked boys_ and _girls’_.)

Tulip learned the word ‘bi’, which meant that Jesse learned it the next day, and then they got in a fight when they tried to teach the other kids and they hadn’t taken well to ‘something that’s not straight’.

Cassidy had laughed, because of course they’d tried to educate the other kids in this poor hick town, and of course it hadn’t gone well.

“Point is,” Tulip had said, “He never met the right guy far as I know, but he’s already taken to you quicker than he ever took to anyone. If anyone’s got a shot at being the right guy, it’s you.”

So, all that to say that he’s sitting at Jesse’s dining table, waiting for Tulip to knock on the door, feeling rather like they’re on a date while they give each other portions of their food and compare meals, knowing that Jesse is, in theory, bi.

Can his heart still pound if he’s technically dead?

He jumps when the knock at the door comes, and Jesse looks confused because it’s decently late, but not at all suspicious. Oh, poor thing. That look’s gonna change.

“I’ll get it,” he says, and hopes Jesse doesn’t catch on that something’s up just by the ridiculous speed he’s up and at the door around the corner.

He must not have, because he’s gone back to digging into fried rice and he almost chokes when he comes back into the dining room with Tulip at his hip.

“Look who’s here!”

Jesse smiles as politely as he can manage when his nice night in has been crashed by his ex.

“Hey, Tulip.”

“Hey, Jesse,” she says back, decidedly sweeter and with a much slyer grin.

Cassidy splits his food with her, and they have a surprisingly not-tense dinner together. All three of them. They make small talk, and Jesse’s making less eye contact but he’s also definitely got a darker blush on than he did, which seems like a good sign.

Tulip and Cassidy don’t play things up too much tonight; Cassidy had worried about the church thing coming off as showing off each other rather than for him, and Tulip agreed, so tonight, they make eyes at each other and don’t do much else.

Tulip and Jesse teach Cassidy how to use chopsticks, which has them almost howling with laughter and Cassidy trying to defend himself with excuses about staying in hiding and keeping a low profile for so long.

“You haven’t gotten Chinese food in a hundred ‘n’ twenty years, Cass?”

Cassidy has to laugh a little too, because Jesse’s a little tipsy and he’s got tears in his eyes from laughing at him. He’ll be the butt of the joke if he gets Jesse _giggling_ out of it.

“Listen,” Cassidy insists, “I just never thought about using them! They give you a fork!”

Something about that makes Jesse laugh even harder, and Tulip, too, and then he has to give in and laugh too.

God, this is nice. The three of them laughing and full on good, cheap food, the tension in the air mostly gone and replaced with a familiarity between Jesse and Tulip that Cassidy’s only begun to blend in to.

One of them suggests they move to the couch to watch something; he wants to say it was Tulip, but they’re all light and spacey from the booze so it could have been him, too. Could have been Jesse, for all he knows.

Jesse’s just out of it enough he doesn’t say anything when Cassidy and Tulip sit on either side of him rather than together. Doesn’t even notice until they’re halfway through some TV version of some recent movie and Tulip leans on him, and he realizes their order on the couch seems off. Cassidy watches his face change from the corner of his eye, but he doesn’t seem to be able to put his finger on exactly _why_ it’s off.

He grins to himself. Good. The more natural it is for Jesse that he’s between the two of them, the better.

Tulip’s breathing turns slower and deeper, and Cassidy peeks around Jesse’s torso to see she’s passed out, sleeping with her head tucked into his side.

Jesse smiles at Cassidy, like ‘how cute is that?’, and Cassidy smiles back.

“Think she’s got the right idea.” Cassidy leans on him and yawns. “Y’don’t mind, do you?” he asks, shooting him the sweetest smile he can at the awkward angle he’s at.

Jesse swallows, then gives him the quietest ‘no’ Cassidy has ever heard.

Cassidy hums and shuts his eyes. That seals the deal. Jesse’s trapped with him sleeping against his side too, feeling him heat up from embarrassment and warm his cold, undead body.

He’s tempted to see if Jesse would let him get away with pulling his arm down over him, but that might be pushing it just a bit too much.

He’d meant to just settle in and watch the rest of the movie like this, but… Christ, he’s tired, actually. Must be all the alcohol or all the lo mein or something.

_Or the nice date,_ he thinks, but ignores it. It’s not a date unless Jesse’s aware it’s a date.

He doesn’t realize he’s drifted off until he’s already gone.

At some point he faintly feels the man between them relax, put an arm around each of them, and settle in too. All he can do still mostly-unconscious is snuggle in and fall back asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter isn't as long as i'd like but!! i dont wanna go too long without updates uou

They wake up on the couch together.

Tulip and Cassidy, that is. Jesse is nowhere to be found, and once they confirm there’s only the two of them’s limbs tangled together, they both groan. He must have gone up to his room at some point in the night.

_Dammit_. They were so close. _Literally_ so close, they were all pressed together and they all fell asleep together, and…

“Fuckin’ Jesse,” Tulip grumbles, and rests her head back on Cassidy’s chest. Plan C, or something. Jesse wakes up and comes downstairs to them all tired and cute or something, she doesn’t know. She’s tired.

Cassidy’s hand presses on her back to keep her steady while he scoots further down under her. His neck is sore from being propped on the arm of the couch, and since they’re sleeping in a little longer, he may as well get comfortable.

He mourns the likely loss of the crumbled joints he feels crushed in his pocket, but, eh. It’s sappy, he thinks, but last night wouldn’t have been as nice if Jesse was altered from weed too and not just lightly buzzed. Makes it more… Genuine, he guesses.

Whatever. They made progress, that’s what matters.

 

They’re still asleep on the couch when he finally comes downstairs.

He’d been half-hoping they would have left already, since it’s past noon and he can’t imagine they could sleep this long, but there they are.

They look like they’ve actually gotten more comfortable and settled in more, tangled up with each other, and he escapes the sight by hiding out in the kitchen and getting a glass of water as silently as he can manage.

There’s a weird pang in his gut, that same kind of jealousy and envy at once from earlier; he thinks he’d just rather it be him and Tulip on the couch, but then his mental image of it has him and Cassidy, then all three of them, and then _he’s_ the one squished between them both and they’re laughing about him crushing Cassidy in the same breaths they’re all kissing each other.

This is bad, honestly. He’s had plenty of issues with these kinds of thoughts, both the not-straight stuff and generally not being able to derail a train of thought, but the train of thought isn’t typically both the not-straight stuff _and_ something that’s in front of him all the time now.

‘Something’ being his kind-of-ex-kind-of-maybe-not? girlfriend and his new best friend and roommate being all attractive and in his face with their attractiveness.

Not that he finds Cassidy particularly attractive. He’s got a nice face, and a slim, lanky body that’s nice, and Jesse really likes his smile and feels kind of warm when he gets a real one out of him, and Cassidy’s voice, unintelligible it may be sometimes when the accent and the slang get too thick, still feels comfortable to hear, and he likes hearing Cassidy call him ‘Jesse’ and ‘Jess’ even though he’s never particularly liked being called ‘Jess’.

...Okay, shit. Maybe he finds Cassidy attractive. Whatever! The point is, he can’t let himself be okay with that.

_Why not?_ his brain supplies immediately, and Jesse frowns.

_It’s not an option._

_Why not?_

_Because…_

...Because nothing, yeah. The only thing keeping him from being okay with this development is his own issues. He’s known gay kids that grew up and moved away from Annville, and he knows who in town has those thoughts and who acts on them because he’s their preacher, and he always makes sure they know there’s nothing wrong with it and the Lord doesn’t think any less of them for having those feelings.

An old memory from him and Tulip’s childhood comes to mind, of her coming to school with a _look_ like she’d heard something _dangerous_. She’d shushed him until lunch any time he tried to ask what was going on, quietly telling him she couldn’t say it around the teachers, and then at lunch she’d told him this _word_. This word that was totally a thing, and suddenly things cleared up for little ten-year-old Jesse with a big crush on his best friend Tulip and a confusing appreciation for a boy he’d been in the same class as the year before.

It’d never been more than that, though. That confusing appreciation.

He thinks about Cassidy again. _Allows_ himself to think about Cassidy.

He thinks about Cassidy leaning forward and kissing him in the kitchen, and letting him push him back against the counter to kiss him harder. He thinks about Cassidy’s thin fingers settling at his waist and holding onto him. He wonders if Cassidy’s a noisy kisser who makes little noises while they make out, or if he’s quiet except for the shaky breaths he takes when their mouths pull apart.

He thinks about letting _himself_ enjoy it too, bringing his hands up to Cassidy’s face and holding him there and kissing back as hard as he can. As hard as he _wants_ to kiss him back.

“Mornin’” makes him jump and almost drop his glass.

“ _Christ_ ,” he swears, clenching his fists to hold down the urge to swing at whatever startled him.

“You alright, mate?” Despite his reaction less than a second ago, Cassidy’s hand comes down on Jesse’s shoulder like it’s nothing. “You’re jumpier than usual.”

Jesse tries to laugh it off, but his cheeks are red.

If Cassidy notices, he doesn’t care or, blessedly, isn’t asking. He just takes Jesse’s drink and finishes it while Jesse frowns at him, and puts the empty glass back in the same spot on the counter.

“Thanks,” he says, like Jesse offered it to him, and he’s out of the kitchen and heading for the bathroom.

Jesse takes a deep breath when he hears the door shut. He still feels like his legs might give out from being startled out of a daydream by the person it was about, and he can’t shake the feeling that somehow Cassidy _knows_ , but.

He gets another glass of water and sits at the table.

Great. That’s sorted out.

Now there’s _two_ people he can’t have.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short-ish chapter but only because this is transitional and i have most of chapter seven like. Done and ready to go and that'll come sooner than this did oop

Tulip wakes up when Cassidy trips on something, yawning with shut eyes on the way back from the bathroom and forgetting to check his path for things like his own shoes from the night before.

Her tired laughter echoes into the kitchen, something Jesse hasn’t heard in a long time, and his heart jumps in his chest. He’s so fucked, honestly.

They both come back in the kitchen and Cassidy starts a pot of coffee for them all. It feels too domestic, and as Tulip settles down at the table across from Jesse, it feels too _familiar_.

She rubs at her eyes and it smudges her makeup worse than sleep already had, and he catches himself grinning at her.

She sits there yawning for as long as it takes for the coffee to finish, only to stand up as soon as she’s offered some.

“I’ve got places to be, Jesse Custer.”

She kisses Cassidy on the cheek before she leaves, and sends Jesse some kind of look. God only knows what it means.

Cassidy stays for breakfast, at least, then dons his awful hat and poncho combo and disappears off somewhere.

The three of them having dinner together becomes oddly commonplace. The movie after is a little less so, and the three of them falling asleep together doesn't happen again (because Jesse will make a big show of yawning and heading up to bed and telling them they're welcome to crash on the couch, because God forbid he have something nice in his life, like a hot boyfriend and girlfriend), but once a week or so they converge in Jesse's kitchen.

Usually Tulip's the one to cook, because Cassidy's lazy and Jesse burns everything. Most of the time Jesse will pick up extra groceries when he shops and text Tulip what he's got, and she'll send back a day of the week that works for her, tell him she'll see him then, and send a heart emoji. He'll tell Cassidy when Tulip will be there for dinner, and they'll all have a nice meal and catch up.

Sometimes Cassidy runs out somewhere and brings back a movie, and they all end up play-arguing about Cassidy's shit taste and forbidding he choose the next one, but they have a good enough time bashing the movie that they inevitably end up watching the next horrid thing Cassidy brings home.

If anyone but Jesse feels weird about it, they’re doing a great job of hiding it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4/13/17 edit: this isnt abandoned!! with a friend getting into preacher and the upcoming second season, this will likely go back to having semi-regular updates while i'm still hyped up about it!

Cassidy breaks his leg.

Both of them, actually.

He also breaks his back, just above his waist, but mostly, his legs are bloody _mangled_.

"How the hell did you do that?" Jesse sighs into his phone. He assumes Cassidy is probably at the bar or something, drunk and having picked a fight he can't win without rousing suspicion. He sounds like he's in a lot of pain, though, so maybe that'll teach him to stop raising hell in a place full of people that already hate him and the company he keeps.

"Car," Cassidy says simply. "Damn big, fast one too. Hummer maybe? Someone drivin' through town, I guess."

Jesse goes cold.

" _What_?"

"Might not have been a Hummer, I don't know."

"Where are you?" He's already grabbing his keys, and he's halfway out the door before Cassidy answers.

"Not totally sure, to be honest. Just, uh... Head down the highway with your brights on and try not to hit me, I guess?"

Jesse laughs a little at that.

"Alright. Should I stay on the phone so you can tell me when I'm close?"

"Yeah, please," Cassidy says. "I'd rather not get run over again."

(He won't tell Jesse until later, when he's healed up and safely back at the church, but being immobilized on the side of the road just a couple hours before sunrise was terrifying. He'd never been so sure that he was about to die, and he'd never been so thankful when Jesse happened to still be up and answered his phone.)

They stay on the line while Jesse drives and tells him what signs he's passing, any rocks that stand out, anything that might help Cassidy identify where he is.

The drive out to him only takes a few minutes, but it feels like hours; knowing Cassidy is hurt, hearing his struggling breathing on the other end and him grunting when he presses on a rib to confirm if it's broken or not (it is). It's the worst rush of adrenaline, and even though he knows Cassidy will heal he's still _scared_. What if he doesn't? What if this is permanent somehow? What if Jesse can't help him in time and he has to watch his friend die at sunrise? He'd become a worse night owl than Cassidy, because seeing the sun would remind him of what he lost (what he _and_ Tulip lost, he corrects himself) and he couldn't take it.

"I think I see you," Cassidy says hopefully, and that snaps him out of it.

He slows down.

"What do you see?"

"I can see lights coming. Like, car lights."

"I'm gonna flash mine, okay?"

"Okay."

He does, and Cassidy starts laughing so lighthearted and thankful in relief that Jesse wonders if he's tearing up.

"Fuck, it's you, yeah. I'm on the… The left, tell me when you see me."

Jesse nods before he remembers Cassidy is on the phone, and says "yeah" to confirm for him.

He’s only another ten yards or so ahead, and Jesse slams the brakes hard enough they squeal.

He looks like shit; there’s a gash on his forehead that’s still oozing slowly, as well as a big dark spot on his shirt where his side has been split open. Everything below that looks mangled to hell, all awful juts and unnatural dips in jeans so dark and thick with blood they don’t even look like denim anymore. Jesse can see the blood trailed in the dirt and gravel from him dragging himself out of the road, too; it doesn’t even look like he was in the middle of the road, but just walking along the side. A drunk driver, or someone with a cruel streak, maybe. 

He drops to his knees next to Cassidy hard enough that he’ll probably be sore later, but he doesn’t care at the moment.

“How bad is it, Doctor?” Apparently, Cassidy’s noticed he’s staring.

“You need blood,” Jesse says, not even bothering with joking along. “Like, _now_.”

 

He grunts when Jesse gets him sitting up as much as possible, but doesn’t argue.

"Tulip, uh... We have an arrangement," he says through gritted teeth. "Usually just have her get me something or... Y'know, have her do it."

Jesse nods.

"Okay, what do I need to do?"

"Just help me get in the truck. I'll stick it out in the attic until she's back."

Jesse frowns. Tulip’s out of town, visiting… Someone. Tulip told him who but she’d been stretched out across him and Cassidy’s laps on the couch at the time, so he was distracted trying not to think about her (or him) (or both of them) (or all three of them).

“She’s not going to be back for a couple more days,” he reminds Cassidy.

“I know. I’ll be fine.”

"It hurts, right?"

Cassidy laughs like a dying man. Hell, if he were human, that’s what he’d be.

"Yeah, it fuckin' does."

"Then fuck you," Jesse says. "I'll take some discomfort over you staying in pain like this a couple _days_."

He's blushing a little as he says it. That's not too, like... Gay? Right? He's a concerned friend. Anyone would rather put themselves through _a little_ pain to ease their best friend's _a lot_ of pain.

Cassidy must be in more pain than he thought, because he doesn't put up much of a fight.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, asshole, I'm sure."

"If the preaching ever falls through, promise me you won't be a nurse. Your bedside manner is astounding."

Jesse grins, glad he's still got his humor.

"Shut up," he says, with absolutely no meanness to it. "How are we doing this?"

“Truck, then home.”

“Screw you, ‘truck’.” Jesse would smack him if this wasn’t such a serious situation. “I’ll give you what I can now, then truck, then home.”

Cassidy frowns so hard Jesse might almost call it a pout, but he’s right about feeding first; the ride is going to be bumpy on these shitty middle-of-nowhere roads and getting every broken bit in him jostled the whole way is gonna hurt like a _motherfucker_. Plus, it’ll be easier to get him in the truck if he’s started to heal, and the sooner he feeds, the sooner he starts healing.

“Fine,” he finally says.

“So,” Jesse says, starting to unbutton the black shirt he always wears, “How are we doing this?”

Cassidy reaches at his hand and Jesse holds it out so he can take it. His cold fingers feel colder than usual on his skin, and his thumb presses into his inner wrist and further up his arm, trying to find or determine or test something.

Jesse guesses he doesn't feel what he needs, because then Cassidy is pulling on his arm so Jesse will lean down closer to him.

"I'm gonna have to bite your neck, Jess."

Jesse swallows. Their faces are close, Cassidy ready to go for his neck but pausing as a courtesy to him.

 _You could kiss him from here_.

He blinks. That's true, but... Relax. Healing your friend now, unwanted gay thoughts later.

"What?" he finally says, after God only knows how long he’s been staring at him.

"Your neck," Cassidy says again. "I'm going to bite it."

"I got that part."

"Then what needs explaining?"

"I, uh..." He swallows again. "My arm won't work?"

Cassidy barely shakes his head, but they're close enough for Jesse to see it loud and clear.

"Skin's too thick to get what I need. No fangs, remember?"

He bares his blunt teeth at that for effect, and Jesse holds back the wince. Right. He forgot about that. He hadn’t thought to grab a knife, either, and fuck if they’re going to go all the way back home before Cassidy starts healing just so Jesse will be a little more comfortable.

For Cassidy. He’s gotta do it for Cassidy.

“Okay.”

(He won't tell Jesse until much, _much_ later, long after Tulip's returned and _things_ have happened and they've nearly forgotten about this whole thing, that he probably could have bitten anywhere else and gotten the same results, but the excuse to get his mouth on Jesse's neck was just too tempting.)

Cassidy's teeth press at his neck softly but surely; he needs to find the best place to bite, somewhere the skin is thin enough between his teeth and a vein, but nowhere too dangerous to open up.

His mouth moves down, further out to his shoulder, teeth still testing his skin, and Jesse shivers. If you took out the whole vampire part of this, it'd just be Cassidy with his ragged, hurt breaths mouthing and biting along his collar and neck while Jesse tenses and squirms and tries to stay still for him.

And since he hasn't bitten to draw blood yet, that's kind of exactly what it is.

“You sure about this?” Cassidy asks again, apparently having found the right spot.

“Yeah,” Jesse says, and it’s definitely not breathy and nervous, and he’s definitely not distracted by the ghost of Cassidy’s mouth on his neck.

His fingers dig into the dirt when Cassidy bites; he’s had worse wounds, been beaten and tattooed and shot at, but it’s never been combined with such a weird feeling of importance. The pain of Cassidy tearing into his skin to get to his blood is what’s saving his friend’s life right now.

Cassidy groans against his neck in the same moment Jesse can hear the sickening sound of his bones trying to knit back together.

The feeling of blood being _pulled_ from him rather than spilling out is strange, and with the hand that’s not balancing him in the dirt he has to grab onto the back of Cassidy’s head. Likewise, Cassidy gets both of his hands on Jesse’s waist, but that’s less overwhelmed and grounding like Jesse’s hold is, and more _squeezing something while my body grinds itself painfully back into one piece_. The blunt pressure of Cassidy’s fingers digging into his sides is unfamiliar, but not unwelcome. It’s almost nice, in a way, because besides reassuring Jesse he’s conscious and fighting and _healing_ , it’s grounding them both into the same single points.

Cassidy feeds until Jesse starts feeling odd, and just as Jesse’s about to tell him he might need to stop, Cassidy is already pulling away.

“You’re good at that,” Jesse mutters. He means knowing when to stop feeding, not, like, the feeding itself, but he’s too fuzzy to specify that’s what he means. Whatever. Cassidy probably gets it.

They help each other up so they can get in the truck; Cassidy’s still in some pain, but his legs are mostly back in place and he can put enough weight on them that Jesse isn’t _completely_ carrying him to the passenger’s side.

Jesse takes a moment once he gets back in to breathe and focus. Cassidy might have taken a little too much, but he’ll take driving more cautiously than usual over any extra pain for his friend.

“You’ve, uh…” Cassidy swallows. “You’ve got some blood on you. Sorry.”

Turning the rearview mirror to check his face, it looks like he’s right; there’s blood smeared on his jaw and up to his ear, and dripped down onto his shirt collar, too. It must be from Cassidy’s head wound, because there’s barely any of his own blood on him. 

Jesse laughs.

“Yeah.” He pulls at his collar to see if any of it’s gotten into his shirt, but it looks like it only got as far as his first button. “I’ll wash it when we get home.”

He blinks a few times. He feels lucid enough to drive back, and sunrise is still a lingering threat.

“You ready?”

Cassidy nods.

“Let’s get the fuck off the highway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lord i'm so sorry for the wait on this especially after i said it was gonna be the quickest update yet. @ past me you fool. theres like 700 more words on this chapter than anticipated
> 
> the whole story is outlined and these are very comfortable characters to write, so this is probably the one thing i can say with 100% certainty will never be abandoned. i'm estimating a total of 10 chapters at the moment, but it could be 9 or 12, depending.
> 
> thank you so much to everyone reading this!!! whether you've just found it as of this posting, or are reading this in the future when it's all said and done and settled, or you've been here since the first chapter went up and i thought this was gonna be like three chapters, i hope you're enjoying it!!! <3333
> 
> *fixes a typo literally like four months later*


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> publishes a shortass chapter just to let yall know i'm still working on it (and bc im trying to chill on switching perspectives too much in one chapter)

Cassidy almost can’t believe just how good Jesse is to him, really; he’d gotten him back home, gotten him mostly cleaned up, and then, because he’s some kind of damn saint, offered up his bed for the night.

“It’ll be easier on you than the shitty old mattress in the attic,” Jesse had explained.

(Cassidy was secretly pretty disappointed that Jesse was taking the couch rather than sleeping in the same bed, but, at least the whole bed smells like Jesse’s cologne. You win some, you lose some.)

Jesse lets him feed more in the evening, when Cassidy’s gotten a full day of rest, Jesse’s had all day to replenish fluids and rebuild his blood supply some, and they’ve got a knife onhand so Cassidy doesn’t have to tear back through the wound healing on Jesse’s neck. 

Truth be told, Cassidy’s mostly good as new by the time they’re drinking in the church that night, minus the limp he’ll have until his leg is completely healed.

They stumble back to the house together, Cassidy leaning on Jesse most of the way from his injuries or the booze, and it’s all giggling and laughing and grinning until they get to the kitchen.

Cassidy moves away from Jesse to stand in front of him.

“Look, I don’t know how to thank you for that, really, because I don’t have much of value and I don’t know what I can do to show you how much that meant to me,” he rambles, “so.”

Cassidy kisses him.

It’s not an overdramatic kiss like you see in the movies, when someone kisses someone else on impulse: it doesn’t mean anything because they’ve just pulled off some important mission or saved a life or something, and both people laugh and wipe their mouths off when they separate. It’s not some chick flick gentle lip-lock that you’ve been waiting for for two hours, a payout on all the tension between some brunette girl and some dreamy boy-next-door type guy, with that moment of realization and then the moment where the music swells and they both start kissing back.

It’s pathetic. Cassidy is pressed to him like he was pressed to his neck, desperate and clinging like Jesse is saving his life. Cassidy’s eyes are shut tight and he’s shaking hoping that Jesse can feel everything he’s trying to say, everything he’s wanted to say since they met, _everything_.

He holds on too long to be able to play it off as some overwhelmed impulse thing. He holds on long enough for it to probably be obvious he wants Jesse to kiss him back. Obvious he isn’t just doing this because Jesse donated some blood.

Jesse’s been still for too long. He’s not kissing back.

Cassidy pulls away.

Jesse looks… Terrified? Definitely not good.

“So,” Cassidy says, casual as ever, like his hopes, dreams, and fantasies haven’t been crushed in one impulsive move, “I’ll be heading back to bed, now.”

Jesse nods, but still says nothing.

Jesse had told him he could sleep in his bed again today if he needed to, but after _that_? He’s not _that_ big of an asshole.

Once the attic door is shut and locked behind him, he takes out the shitty burner phone he’s been using, and sends Tulip a single text before he lays down.

_think i fucked the plan up_


End file.
